Half Man Half Horse Half Machine

My Friday Night....

1 Bottle of Egg Nog (Evan Williams)

1 Pint of Evan Williams Green Label

2 Boxes of Christmas Decorations

Its been a long day. I woke up at 5 to study for my Java final....melted my old ass brain.

I'm Drunk off way to little booze. I hate you 35!!!    Enjoy this little sonnet that I found!!! 

I wish I had that many shoes

So here I sit all alone on a Friday night. Not because I want it that way, it’s just the way things worked out. See 2-3 years ago on a night like tonight I would have looked at this decision and said "To hell with it"!! Gone out, gotten hammered, maybe laid, possibly, Hell probably arrested. 

Whatever the night had in store I was, without a doubt, going to be hungover. Well tomorrow is kind of a big day. It’s my grandfather’s 95 celebration of life. Family, friends, that one you never see so they can't really judge you. Don't get me wrong it’s an awesome affair. I love it. Pop Pop even has a New Orleans set he plays that includes both Dixieland and When the Saint Come Marching In. It’s amazing. Honestly to do that at 95. Amazing.

So like I said it’s a big day. So what am I doing tonight?? You never can tell. One year on December 24 around 4:45 am I found myself at a blackjack table in Shreveport, La. I was supposed to be in North Texas around 2 P.M. I remember calling the dealer, a man of Asian descent, my "Chinese Santa Clause". The Purple Creeper* got us I guess.

* For those who don’t know Purple Creeper is another name for grape Kool-Aid mixed with Everclear. Awesome!!!

Sometime some people just realize what is on the line. The idea of risk and its consequences are not the easiest concepts to grasp. 

Sometimes things happen.

Sometimes things are out of our control.

Take Jordan Jefferson for example. He has a lot on the line. He is the quarterback of the Louisiana State University football team, a position that obviously gets a lot of attention. Look I will make no excuse for these football players or their actions. Not that you’re looking for one…from me at least.

I live in a college town and see student athletes enjoying a beverage quite often. 

I have never been to beautiful downtown Baton Rouge but I bet it’s pretty nice, but back to my point. Some people actually hate these guys. Football players I mean. I know I know but yes it is true. I remember seeing Mike Bobo, former UGA quarterback and current UGA Offensive Coordinator,  get in a fight at Washington Street Bar back in '95. Hell my Uncle Tommy got into a fight with the Atlanta Falcons while he was playing a Tech back in the ‘60s. 

These things DO happen.  I have heard what the so-called "haters" say to these guys in public. Remember, Jimmy Clausen got socked in the eye while walking down the street in South Bend with his parents no less. Know I am not condoning anyone stomping a mud-hole in anyone else's ass.

Now if there was pre-meditation, well that's a whole different story, but for now all we have is a fight.

So let’s just pump the brakes on crucifying this guy. We don't know what was said. When you get these idiot college kids drunk and throw a hot co-ed in the mix, sprinkle in a few football players breaking curfew to defend her honor...and you got a recipe for disaster. 

The only real crime I can think of is that Jordan has 49 pairs of shoes. Or at least that's how many were taken by the police. 49!!??!!?? I mean I love Nike. I mean I LOOOOOVE Nike. Check out this web site. You can custom make you own pair of shoes and they will ship them to you in about a month. Imagine the recruiting advantages if they are your sponsor. Nike ID custom shoe site.  FYI use Firefox. But 49 pairs of tennis shoes.  Not a strong case for players needing to be paid.

Again, another discussion for another day. 

I will get back to my original point. Jefferson's biggest mistake is that he broke curfew. He, essentially, had no idea what was on the line. He couldn't have. For some people it just takes longer to learn that concept. Some people never learn it. Believe me. I know what it is like to see everything you have worked for disappear in a matter of seconds, on more than one occasion.

It's never on purpose. It just happens. Happenstance exists. At least in some alter universe where nothing goes right ever for anybody ever.  

But essentially there is a catalyst. Booze, dope, angry, stupid you never really know.


 In Jefferson's case it appears that it was not the dick head talking shit and trying to rob his girl, it was breaking curfew. It was not realizing what was on the line. 

I say run him. Run him until he collapses. Then do it again, and again, and again. You can’t kick him off the team. He's not the first student athlete to get in a fight. 

This is not a big deal. Keep in mind that ESPN has perfected the 24 hours sports news cycle and practically invented the concept of sports news as a revenue stream. 

So I ask all of you....Don't buy in. Please hold those knee jerk reactions at least for a bit. The Jordan Jefferson story is just yet another example of how America can jump on board before we know all the facts. If it turns out he attacked the man, threatened him, grabbed him, sodomized him then yes he deserves the bad press. Kick him off the team.

But all press entities, and yes even ESPN are VERY guilty of only reporting some of the story.

So those are my thoughts as we go into the final week of summer without college football. I will write another piece before the games start. Quite possibly about how fucking ugly the Nike Pro Combat uni's are. All opinions are welcome.

So do I miss it? Going out, being in the scene? More than you will ever know. But there are things that you will never think of that are much, much more important. I can’t tell you what they are, but you will know them when you see them. 

Until then, I offer Jordan Jefferson this bit of advice....don't wait until your 35 to realize what’s important. 

Take the 'Canes and the points for the next 20 years....

I just watched the first half of the Atlanta Falcons preseason game and the first thing that comes to mind is who the hell stole Michael Strahan's tie. Seriously. Since when is it OK to show off your "Taco Meat" on national television. We've got to see that dam gap please don't subject America to the rest of you. Lets not give it any more attention than it deserves.

So with the first week of class out of the way I take my first chance to write about...Miami.

So long Miami it appears Hurricane Shapiro has leveled you

So this week the college football world took YET another hit when Yahoo! Sports reported that some sleazy ass idiot has screwed up yet another sports program. So Nevin Shapiro spilled the ever living beans about his involvement as a University of Miami booster. If you have not read about some of the things this guy spent his money on please do. It's truly the definition of living in excess.

So I ask. Which would you be more pissed off about?? The fact that you got duped into a ponzi scheme by some 5'5 athlete wanna be?? Or the fact that your money that was supposed to be making you more money according to the wanna be, is actually being used to provide strippers and VD shots, and in one instance an abortion, to the Miami Hurricane football team. Say it in your head. Its hard not to laugh. I assume there was a line out the door to kick this guys ass when it all came down. 

College athlete's are not asking for money. Shit they don't have to. You got some asshole like this in almost every college town. At least the division one schools.

So what is the answer?? Pay the player?? what would that cure?

What about the grad student doing lab work for cancer research??

The only way to fix it is to get rid of the wanna be athletes that fulfill there own selfish needs by involving themselves where they are not needed. And why do they act like this?? Probably for a piece of ass or two.

And now look at him. Granted he was sentenced to squeal as part of his plea bargain so there really is no "motive" here. But he has not held back any resentment concerning the fact that not one of the 72 athletes that he "bonded" with have stepped forward for him.

Is he really surprised?? Who does he think he is, T. Boone Pickens?? A real booster. Someone who not only attend his the university he donates to but exudes integrity. He is passionate about Oklahoma State and their success but he would never compromise the school he loves for his own selfish bucket list.

I have a feeling everyone of those athletes knew exactly who and what Nevin Shapiro was. From what I can find he did not even attend the University of Miami. If he did please correct me but the University is private and they can take money from who ever they want. We've all met that guy. The 5'5 former basketball player/wrestler who thinks he is still relevant if he hangs out with a college football team. Now there were other sports he was involved in but football was the focus 

I'm not sure what he is so upset about?? He is not in jail for paying football players. He is in jail for stealing money.

The Miami football team is a subject very near and dear to my heart. In the 80's they were part of the reason I started watching football. A true microwave dynasty whose success will never been rivaled. And to think that I may never see a Miami Hurricane football game again because some miserable douche-bag thought he would just destroy their program. 

Understand I don't care that he is squealing. Of course it's wrong to snitch but it happens. You got to look out for number 1 right? So what am I upset about you ask?? The fact that this guy was alive. The fact that his brain worked in a way that he thought all this shit was OK. I bet he has never even thrown a football. I bet he has never strapped on a helmet. 

People like him don't care if the team wins or looses. He only cares that he gets to say "Hey I know that guy". Well congrats Nevin. Got you pretty far. I once met Roddy White at the Oasis Bowling ally in Buford, Ga. He acted surprised that I did not know who he was. I proceeded to show him my Dallas Cowboys debit card and said "I'm not really a Falcons fan". That quickly ended that conversation. 

But really. Name dropping?? Its just never been my thing.

But it dam sure was Nevin's thing. 

So there he sits. In Atlanta federal prison. I wonder if he bets moon pies and cigarettes on the 'Canes on Saturdays.

Proven 'em wrong

Ahhhhhh college!!  Let me shy away from the premise of sports for a moment and dive into another topic near and dear to my heart. Learning!!

In 1994 I graduated from high school, barely!! After my fledgling "rising" years, my dad constructed some Carlisle-esc plan to keep me on track to graduate when expected. Thank the lord for that man!!!! He introduced me to the idea of "Proven 'em wrong".

In my younger years I was not so aware of what he was teaching me. Hell looking back I was applying his lessons and did not even realize it. Based on  my high school GPA, SAT scores-sub 800- and my college placement exam, Georgia State estimated my first year GPA would be around 1.35. I transferred into the UGA School of Business Administration (Now Terry College of Business) with a 3.0 exactly 12 months later (Proved 'em wrong).

But my dad still left much to learn. You cant just learn to learn. "Hey I'm bored I want to learn"... doesn't happen. More like hey I'm bored lets download some animal porn. Yes that's the world we live in today.

My dad taught me that you must have a drive, a passion, a reason. So that's it. College, or Adult school as I like to call it, is truly a collective effort to try to be better. Every person at mine and every other institution of higher learning is there for one absolute reason. Happiness. Don't cloud it with monetary issues. Any idiot can make a buck. What comes along with the scholastic environment is that while money can apparently buy a short term smile knowledge ensures power. It may be just a little bit of power, but to know for an unequivocal fact that you own the other person cognitively, well that  is quite empowering. Almost comical at times even.

When I step on my campus I feel part of something. Yes the football team is awesome....but part of something greater. I wear it on my sleeve. I am proud of me and my class mates. I wish them all to have a nice day and smile at them when we pass. This is my true North.

Honestly I have never been to a place that is more set up for people to succeed. If, by some disaster, you fail at college you simply did not try. And I mean the hard shit. At age 35 I am learning computer programming. 35!!!!!! Most people I know my age are scared of them. Well I guess I'm just try to play "Proven 'em Wrong"!! Wish me luck!!!


On A Side Note:

I have a young cousin starting school this semester about 45 miles west of me. For the sake of anonymity we will call her Lancy.

I wish Lancy the best of luck. Not all people have my opinion on college. She is very bright and I am sure that some of the challenges I faced in college will be mere child's play for her. She was made for college. She is way more secure than I ever was and she is brilliant. And Lancy if by chance you need help with anything.....don't be afraid to ask.

Perfect Storm (for lack of a better term)

As I get ready for the first day of class.....again.....I feel a certain anticipation that I have never felt before. It feels as if this fall the content of my classes will be soooo thought provoking and inspiring my head might simply implode. I mean this may very well be a "Perfect Storm" (for lack of a gayer term) of college semesters. Largest freshman class ever. 3-2 female ratio. 5 new bars downtown. And I'm getting my teeth fixed!!! I know I know I'm too old to be thinking like that right.....bullshit!! Truth is I don't really want a women younger than 25..I mean if I had to I guess I could comply...god I love Athens. 

Still, I have yet to mention the linchpin in this "Perfect Storm" (for lack of a queerer term). This past winter it became apparent that coach Richt was attempting to put together something special. As the press coined it a "Dream Team"(completely acceptable) of recruits all, or at least most, being from the great state of Georgia.

With commitments like Ray Drew, Malcom Mitchell and the highly touted Isaiah Crowell, Coach Richt locked down the number 6 recruiting class in the country according to ESPN. They landed two 5 star recruits and fifteen 4 star recruits. 

So Richt got the number six class in the country. Please keep in mind that he has done this before. Hell he has done better. In 2009 they had the 6th ranked recruiting class. In 2006 they had the 4th ranked class that included Matt Stafford and Knowshon Moreno among other future NFL players. I mean really the ranking is completely bogus anyhow. Every year Notre Dame gets a high rank and every year they suck. What is impressive to me is that he learned from his mistakes. 

With Richt's early success at Georgia came an ability to recruit on a national basis that the Bulldogs had never really had before. Look at the past. Coach Dooley kept it in the state and found greats like Herchel Walker, Buck Belue, and Lindsay Scott. Then there is Goff, Ugh but still Ray new the rule of southern football. Reference Eric Zeir, Robert Edwards, and Garrison Hearst. Donnan even followed suit with the players like the Bailey boys, Quincy Carter, and Hines Ward. Every one of those players played in the NFL at some point. And that’s just a small small sample.

So where am I going with this??? The past has shown that the state of Georgia is second ONLY to the state of Florida when it comes to producing great college football players. Georgia's has a rich high school football tradition, long warm seasons and a large African American population. These three thing allow for a "Perfect Storm" (for lack of a lamer word) of player development. Kids play football year round in down here. Its awesome. Quincy Carter was the fastest football player I have ever seen/ His Southweat Dekalb team was amazing. But still they were beat by a deep south Valdosta High School team that year. Just goes to show how good high school football is down here.

I know Matt Stafford was a great Bulldog, and Knowshon was incredible to watch. But out of state players like them are few and far between. And Stafford gets exemption, he comes from Texas...they are probably number 3 in producing players. 

Coach got back to basics. He realized that he must protect the state of the University of Georgia. Being a former quarterback at Miami he is always looking elsewhere for that special passer. Fine. But no need to leave the state for any other position. He proved it this year. I can’t wait to see Jarvis Jones and that 3-4 line up against the Smurfs of Boise State. 

To think that UGA got this recruiting class on the heels of a 6-7 seasons only makes me more excited about the future of this program. 

Tech is no longer an issue. It’s every other school in the country that comes down here to hand pick which outstanding players they want. It should not happen and I feel that coach Richt realized that. Richt and his staff were obviously not being held to a high enough standard. 

Is it a coincidence that the downfall of the UGA football program and the Former AD Damon Evans scandal went hand in hand? I think not. DUI, Downtown Atlanta (Tech territory no less), 20 year old girl in the car, wedding ring on his hand, and her panties in his lap!! Now that's a "Perfect Storm" (for lack of a more homosexual word) of embarrassment!! I think it’s indicative of the integrity that he commands from his sports programs. If he is willing to put himself in that position and get caught, he probably wasn’t running to tight a ship here in Athens. With the hiring of Mike McGarity it is apparent that there has been a new focus to recruit in state. I have a feeling it will pay off. We will return to this in December.

So I am ready for the new semester. Ready to learn. Ready to for females. And ready to CHEER!! My early prediction.....10-3 with a bowl win. 

Zig Zags

So I'm sitting here enjoying a rather nice glass of Johnny Walker Gold Label that a good friend gave me. My grandfather to my right watching Derek Lowe blowing the winning streak AGAIN for the Braves, 7-2 Cubs. At least Uggla got another hit. What a turn around. The guy will end up with 30 plus home runs AND hit .250 for the season. Considering his start out of the gate that's pretty damn impressive, but I digress.

As I sit here I think about the fact that I am a 35 year old single divorcee. The thought often makes me wonder at what point along my time line I should have Zigged instead of Zagged. Not being one for regret too much in life I shrug off the thought, take another sip and wonder again. I wonder if that's how we all are. Or if there are some of us out there that will never let go of what have done in the past.

SHIT!!!

Wow I thought that was another homer for the Cubs, by the way did Zambrano really retire after getting shelled??? Who cares.


I have been swinging a golf club since I was about 10 years old. My father and I would sneak off to walk nine at the Candler Park golf course in Decatur, Ga during his lunch break. Really a nice course looking back. One could play it pretty quickly but it was still challenging.

I hate golf. I mean playing. Seriously. 25 years later and I still have the same fundamental problems that make the ball jump off my club sideways rather than forward. I used to pitch fits at the driving range. Once I hit a guys golf cart while he was waiting for us to tee off.

But watching golf is an entirely different story. The ability to place a ball where you want with nothing more than a wedge of iron is truly amazing. The game is distinguished, artistic, landscaped and buttoned up. Watching makes me wish I could go out and play and makes you want to go and play. Don't believe me, check out driving ranges Sunday after The Open...packed!! It is truly a fantastic game and those who master it are truly fantastic.

8-2 Cubs......sip...ahhhh.

I am a child of the 80's. I missed golf's "Golden Era". I did not grow up with Jack and Arnold and Lee. My generation's greatest ever did not arrive until 1995. Well past my influential age.

Tiger Woods is the GREATEST golfer I have ever seen. Hell he is one of the greatest athletes I have ever seen. I have a feeling he will be the greatest golfer I will ever see. He owned the tour. People were scared of him. Tiger versus the field. Those were good bets!!! He brought more attention to golf than golf knew what to do with. He is responsible for the current "European Invasion" into golf. Not in a bad way but in a good way. Tiger Woods has inspired an entire global generation to play golf. Not because they want to beat him but be cause they want to BE him.

What ever Tiger Woods did wrong it was not a big deal, at least as far as sports go. Maybe in the world of golf, maybe because it was the number one in the world, but if you think the caddies aren't out there shagging every piece of ass they can get their shafts on your an idiot. This is a rich mans game, rich men get what they want. In the words of the great warlock Charlie Sheen, "Winning" is everything.

But Tiger was married. Well so was Micheal Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Jesse James(not sports but still) and so on and so forth. Part of the reason men excel at sports is because they love domination whether it be the opposing team or the opposite sex. That's how they are programmed. Buyer beware. That's what athletes do.

Braves Lose...eh.

Tiger's demise is not some psychological meltdown that he will never return from. The guy is aging. He is 35. Bum Knee. He played relentlessly for 15 years and WON. Not won some but won all. I can only imagine. That has to take a lot out of someone eventually.

Tiger vs the field are you kidding me?? And people won with that bet, not much but it was a safe bet. What do you think the odds of Bobby vs the field would be?? 5000 to 1?? I think there's value there.

Players fade. Greg Norman, Davis Love III, Vijay, Ernie Els. We had Tiger  for 15 years of truly the greatest golf I have ever witnessed. He was truly a beast and his legacy in golf, as well as in the bedroom, will be felt for decades yet to come.

So like Dale Jr. and Lebron James, Tiger has fallen into the sucker bet?? Will he ever win again?? Maybe. You never know.

I do wonder though...does Tiger ever wish he would  have Zigged instead of Zagged....the only answer I can come up...fire hydrant.

I'm Baaaaaack....and more popular than ever

As I pull myself away from the world of Facebook I wonder if my withdrawal has anything to do with the start of football. Of course it does!!!!! After burning up the Facebook pages for roughly 6 months I am ready to point my attention elsewhere. Also, I have come to realize that it is nothing more than a popularity contest. That is it. Nothing more...nothing less but we will get back to that.

Well, the greatest reality show ever picks up where it left off 6 months ago. In this new media world that gives us entertainment at a the touch of a button, who better to provide the mindless antics that we love. I mean honestly they are, for the most part, very low on the intellectual totem pole. It makes one wonder how they even landed the gig but then you realize that its all about looks. They do some of the STUPIDEST things on a daily basis.

No, I am not referring to the fist pumping morons from New Jersey, that's the second greatest reality show of all time. I am talking about the NFL. The NFL has become a year round industry. With players looked at as celebreties more than ever, and the access of Facebook and Twitter, its like a feeding frenzy for Tabloids. Even TMZ has dipped into sports coverage. With idiots like Pac-Man Jones, Chad OchoCinco and James Harrison the content is infinite. No writers needed here, you cant make up most of this stuff. Seriously, Brett Favre, take your pick, his wicked codine habit or his itchy picture finger. JaMarcus Russel drinking "syzurp" on an Alabama dirt road. Big Ben and his VIP area. I think we all know what the "P" stood for Ben. And who can forget Maurice Clarett riding around with a bullet proof vest on and a shotgun in his lap.

The truth is the NFL has become so big that it not only captivates us during the season but it holds our attention during the off-season. With the addition of fantasy football its dam near interactive. Hell even females who don't watch the NFL know players like Tony Romo and Reggie Bush. While players have never been shy of the public spotlight, new media platforms allow them to be in the face of their respective fans at all times.

So is it a coincidence that the recent exponential rise in popularity of the NFL has coincided with the increased use of social media platforms. I think not. One could say that the NFL has even capitalized on such platforms. Either way its awesome.

In a financial world where popularity wins, the NFL has taken advantage of a world wide popularity contest and its winning.

So as we embark on the newest season of the greatest show on TURF be prepared. Study up and know what your favorite player is doing on that day. Ask them how there breakfast was. Oh and DVR Jersey Shore on Thursday if there is a game on.